She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
