You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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