I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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