I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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