we made out on top of his cat.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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