I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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