Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
