THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
