I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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