It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
