Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize