The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I see more hoeing in ur future
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
