I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
