Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
