Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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