it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
