Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
