I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
