Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
