I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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