12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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