I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
