She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize