I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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