I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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