Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
