My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize