Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize