So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
