I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I met the friendliest cop last night
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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