think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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