Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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