i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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