I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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