My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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