there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
