people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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