go do what you do best...puke behind churches
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
