DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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