Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
