OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
