The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
