Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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