hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
