omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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