I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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