i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
