I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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