at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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