Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
