Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
