You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
