I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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