someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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