you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
