My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
