On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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