Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
