Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize