Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
