I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
