it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize